Friday afternoon meetings are the worst*
Is it ever appropriate for someone to yell at someone else in an academic faculty meeting? I would say no. Especially so if you’re a higher rank than the person you’re yelling at. Especially not during a brainstorming session on a Friday afternoon. Especially not if you’re a man and you’re yelling at a woman.
I just had another taste of how people at work don't value me or my opinions. The comment I made was clearly not going to be a major focus of what we were doing, but I thought I had a valid point and should be allowed to make it. If no one felt it was worth pursuing or discussing further, that’s fine. However, my comment was met with anger and aggression from one colleague. Nobody else said anything. I felt uncomfortable for being yelled at so I left the meeting right then. One (female) colleague emailed later to ask if I was okay. Another (female colleague) did on Sunday. The person who yelled emailed to apologize, but apology also pointed out that I was wrong. So that’s where I am.
All the years I had to miss meetings and other events to take my daughter to school or doctor’s appointments, it was never suggested that these meeting/event times be changed so that I could attend. But if I suggest that the meeting time itself makes us less productive? Well, we’ve had these meetings on the same day for DECADES and we’re not changing now. So it’s clear that my opinion is not important. Or that everyone else loves meeting on Friday afternoons.
I’m now faced with a decision: do I stop attending meetings? Or do I attend and bite my tongue to avoid saying anything? I never expected such a reaction to my comment, so I now feel like I have no idea what might cause such a reaction in the future. And by Friday afternoons I’m tired. It’s harder for me to filter myself. And is that really the problem anyway? Me filtering myself? Just feeling crappy on this Monday thinking back to Friday. But know this: I’m not hurt. I didn’t cry. I’m angry. I’m bitter. Great way to start the week.
*Something I've been saying for 16 years.
I just had another taste of how people at work don't value me or my opinions. The comment I made was clearly not going to be a major focus of what we were doing, but I thought I had a valid point and should be allowed to make it. If no one felt it was worth pursuing or discussing further, that’s fine. However, my comment was met with anger and aggression from one colleague. Nobody else said anything. I felt uncomfortable for being yelled at so I left the meeting right then. One (female) colleague emailed later to ask if I was okay. Another (female colleague) did on Sunday. The person who yelled emailed to apologize, but apology also pointed out that I was wrong. So that’s where I am.
All the years I had to miss meetings and other events to take my daughter to school or doctor’s appointments, it was never suggested that these meeting/event times be changed so that I could attend. But if I suggest that the meeting time itself makes us less productive? Well, we’ve had these meetings on the same day for DECADES and we’re not changing now. So it’s clear that my opinion is not important. Or that everyone else loves meeting on Friday afternoons.
I’m now faced with a decision: do I stop attending meetings? Or do I attend and bite my tongue to avoid saying anything? I never expected such a reaction to my comment, so I now feel like I have no idea what might cause such a reaction in the future. And by Friday afternoons I’m tired. It’s harder for me to filter myself. And is that really the problem anyway? Me filtering myself? Just feeling crappy on this Monday thinking back to Friday. But know this: I’m not hurt. I didn’t cry. I’m angry. I’m bitter. Great way to start the week.
*Something I've been saying for 16 years.
Comments
Post a Comment